Okay so like outta pure curiosity, I joined The Erotic Review... And besides the fact that it seems like its TOTALLY a fucking scam (ie... there's like 17 reviews of asian massage parlors, when there's more than that on my block alone)... MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN hobbyists are nasty folk...

Like Christ buttfucking a pony gross... Like MK and EP9 69ing during a marathon SSF2 session gross...

SOOOOOOOO, since AG has basically become a mehfest, I figgered I'd pick up Anteye's idea of posting ridiculous Helmuth calender posts and add a daily retarded hobbyist post...

This prolly won't interest anyone but me, but I was reading through reviews last night, and was just laughin my ass off at their friggin hilarity/nastiness...

And, for those not associated w/ some terms... Here's ones you'll see over and over... And yes, most of them are nasty...

BBBJ - bareback blowjob...
C (anything) - condom (anythng) (ie... CBJ = condom bj, etc)
GFE - girlfriend experience

Now some of the favorites...

DFK - deep french kiss (ewwww....)
DATY - down at the Y (Christ on a stick only knows why anyone would dare, but it means goin down on a chick)
Greek - in the butt

So anyways, let the fun begin...

standard

OML I have been scarred for life...................................................

wow

Also, how did this thread go from rimjobs to street fighter in one post?

K...trying to get the thread back on track here...BTW i heebed some login infoto MPreviews..com from a mizor i know whose a member, cause i can't have MVP outdoin me and all that...If this one doesnt make your toes tingle, then i dno what will...

I sat on the side of the bed and watched her undress
then started kissing her breasts and nipples which were nice size but not
big. Started with the DFK and worked my way down to her belly button. She
started moaning right a way so I stopped and told her just let me make you
feel good and I know I will feel good. She looked me in the eyes (she has
large black eyes) Took my hands for me to stand up and went to her knees
and started bbj while looking up at me. We layed down and started cuddling
and kissing. From there it was bbbj(light), balls, daty, 69, rcg, cg,
missionary, daty again, flip I rimmed her a long time and fingered her till
she came again. Rolled over to 69 again and finished up missionary. I am
rather thick, not long, but she had a hard time getting it in, I felt her
cervix, I told her I did not want to hurt her but she said keep going. It
seemed like a mutual climax, more kissing, cuddling, she took off the
rubber and looked up at me quizzically and I shook my head yes. She cleaned
me up with her tongue all the while looking up at me and squeezing my
nipples.. All in all a great time. We went to the shower naked together. I
gave her a 20 tip besides the regular in the envelope. She earned more but
I left the rest in the car so I would not lose my head.

PS That guy got all of this for sixty fuckin bucks, plus a $20 tip...so remember that MVP, when u pay like $150 for a busted up mamasan to give ya a 400,000 mile per hour HJ with her clothes on...San Gabriel Valley, CA FTW!

Ah, heres one thats sorta tite....

Pics are very deceiving. I don't think that it's really her, as her body
isn't as good. Big ass nipples the size of pencil erasers. She's a
double bagger and had alot of rules. Didn't think that I could get off, so
I just closed my eyes and thought about my atf. Needless to say, I won't
return. Don't waste your money on this one.

Apparently, i have now seen some hobbyist terminology that i dont know...WTF is ATF?????

Ah, urban dictionary FTW...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ATF

nice that when a hobbyist has a bad experience, he thinks about his favorite hookers to get off... hobbysists..

all time favourite (ty urban dict)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH... I need to start writing these down... I found my ATF yesterday and can't friggin find it again... Balls....