Very happy to be able to donate 2 1/2 stacks today to the Full Tilt school for the mentally handicapped. I swear these people could see my fuckin cards today. I was getting pot bet on every street whether they raised, it was un-raised, or I raised.

-My 1st raise - min-c/r on the Q-hi flop from BB - I much AJo unimproved.
-My 2nd raise - Flop K2Q and I lose AK to AQ in BB when Q hits the turn.
-My 3rd raise - I limp/re-raise from UTG AQo because BB had raised the last 3 times it was limped to him. He calls and pots the flop, I fold.
-[As][9s] BB - on [4s][9d] flop - I bet, CO raises (he has potted flop and turn in all 3 previous hands I'd been involved in with him so I call) turn. I check, he pots again, I call, River , he pots again, fuck you I call. He has the straight. He must have had a set or better every hand against me then.
-Next hand - opponent 39/17, raises to $2.50, I call 99 in SB. TTx Fp, I check/call, Turn blank, I check/call, River J check-check. As usual, a bigger pair from an extra loose aggressive player. They ALWAYS have me beat.
-My 4th raise after over 100 hands - [Tc] and I get 4 callers, [Td]x SB 1/2 pots into me, 1 caller, I call. Turn . SB same bet, only I call. River . SB checks, I bet 1/2 pot and SB insta calls with [Jc]. WTF???
-UTG min-raise, I call CO [4h], 2 other callers, [9h][Td] flop checked to me, I bet pot, BB calls. Turn BB bets pot.....WTF???....I call......River BB all-in
-EP player 52/15/30 raises to $2.50, I call from BB [4h] along with one calling station.
[5h][6s] EP bets 2/3 pot, I call. Turn , I plan on c/r here, but he checks. River I bluff either the straight, flush, or King with a 3/5 pot bet, he insta-calls TT.
-I limp [5d] in CO. 5 way pot. I get 3-1 on flush draw on flop and call. Turn I complete the 1 flush I hit today, EVERYBODY folds.
-My 5th and last PFR - 2 limpers, a PFR, I make a 3x PFRR, EVERYBODY folds.

I was going to post my Poker EV chart for today's session, but I almost vomited when I looked at it and I'd rather not have to look at it again.

I still can't understand this...
My PT database - All players with 50%+VP$IP > 80 hands

50/21/67 83 hands +103.78 BB/100
50/13/50 82 hands -62.20 BB/100
51/6/56 85 hands +133.18 BB/100
52/14/50 91 hands +144.84 BB/100
56/0/33 87 hands -61.84 BB/100
57/16/27 102 hands -207.55 BB/100
63/12/50 88 hands +48.46 BB/100
73/24/48 83 hands +140.96 BB/100

And if I drop it down to 50 hands it's about the same % winners( 2 out of every 3), but I don't feel like investing that much time in it. How can this be possible?

I had a long session planned for last night and it looked like I was on my way to redemption for Saturday's disaster after 2 key hands.

UTG+2 ($25.25) (31/2/27 - 45 hands) limps
CO limps
OTB [5s] (full stack), I limp.
SB folds
BB checks

[6h][8s] Pot $2.25
BB checks, UTG+2 bets $2.25, CO folds, I call, BB folds
My decision not to raise here is because his pot sized bet most likely represents a better hand (88,76+) or a hand that I have crushed (A8,77,99+). The only real draw out there is an open-ender and the in my hand makes that even less dangerous as 1/2 the straights will make my boat. Or it could be a complete bluff in which case he'd fold if I raise.

So I figured I'd let him bluff since he'd be more likely to call my raise or push with a hand that beats me and I'm not afraid of letting him draw if he's that far behind.

Pot $6.75
UTG bets $6.75, I call
Same reasoning here although I'm beginning to suspet A6, but he probably doesn't have enough to make me fold plus he hasn't been playing fairly loose.

Pot $20.25
UTG pushes $16.05, I reluctantly at this point call, planning to see a better hands, but surprisingly he shows [Jh] and validates my choice of strategy.

Next hand: Opponent (BUT) had just sat down with a full stack but had already shown some super aggressive tendencies over only 11 hands (45/36/50)
We're 6 handed.....
UTG [7s] ($85.20) I limp
BUT ($49.90) raises to $2.25
SB folds, BB folds, I call

[Js][Qs] Pot $5.25
I check, BUT bets $4.50, I raise to $15, he immediately pushes.
I realize that only Kxs or Txs beats me. I figure it's most likely he has Ax[Ks] and call. I'm shocked when he shows [6c] drawing dead.
THANK YOU

So now I'm up to $132 on that table and up slightly on my other table. At the same exact time I pick up [8d] OTB and open-raise on the smaller table and AKo UTG on the bigger table.

I limp with the AKo, get 2 or 3 other limpers and the BB raises to $2.50. I re-raise to $9 and then MY GOD DAMN INTERNET CONNECTION GOES OUT! AAAAAGH FUCKIN VERIZON!

I spend the next few minutes staring at my modem, but it's in and out for remainder of the night. I finally do find out that I lost both hands when I'm able to briefly access the cashier. So my intended marathon session is cut short after 107 hands and I have no idea what happened on those last 2 hands except that I lost. I'm fairly confident I can guss at what happened on the AK hand though.

BB calls the raise to $9. Flop comes AKK. BB checks, fearing the overcards to his pocket Queens. Once he sees me time out however, he min-bets the turn and wins the pot.

The rest of the story, non-poker, is on my blog. Short story is they're sending someone out Tuesday because I'm not going through all the shit I went through with the in and out connection all summer last year again. This was bad enough, but I'm just waiting to get raised all-in while I'm holding the nuts and then lose the connection just before I can push and end up folding.

Currently steaming!

Cliff Notes:
- I wait 11 hours for Verizon technician to show up today. Obviously never happens
- Call Verizon. They say they cancelled appointment and never even told us.
- Censored, censored, censored
- In their mind, if they test the line at any time before actual appointment and it is working at that particular moment, they consider problem resolved and canel appointment
- I sit down to play tonight and after 2 hands, lose connection AGAIN.
- Censored, censored, censored
- Assholes schedule someone to come out tomorrow again.
- Verizon now deserves their own category on blog, may end up earning their own page be end of week.

MOTHER EFFIN' INCOMPETENT, UNRELIABLE, DEAF AND DUMB VERIZON ASSHOLES!

So Sick. It Must Be ESP

I've been running fairly card dead for close to 300 hands and down about a stack tonight when I pick up [3d] in MP1. UTG raises to $1.75 and I call looking for the set. Suddenly there's 1, 2 calls behind me as we get to the BB and I start kidding to myself that I could easily get set over setted here and that what I really need is to flop quads with an Ace or a King out there. Then I quickly wonder when the last time I actually flopped quads was.

Anyway, the blinds fold and there is $7.25 in the pot going to the flop.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?1139823

Pretty sick, huh. And set up perfectly by the fact that I'd been floating quit a bit on that table in position and betting 1/2 pot on the turn everytime they checked to me. I had to pray he at least had a King there and I got lucky.

I wrote this long May summary the other day and somehow must have closed it before I hit submit. Anyway, didn't feel like re-writing the whole damn thing. Suffice to say I am making a conscious effort to put a lot of hours in fhe first 2 weeks of June and see where I'm at after that.

The Verizon tech finally shows up today and he plays with a few wires, says he did everything he can and it should work now and if not, the only other suggestion he would have is getting a new modem.

So after 4 days off, I return to poker and promptly get bitch slapped in my first MTT.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?1139814 - Got it all in as a 80% fav. Can't ask for more than that.
Then I was finished off when I got the rest of it in preflop with [Qh] and was called by [Tc] in the BB. J on flop, T on river

Then I got bitchslapped again by Verizon when my internet went out AGAIN!

I finally got it back and put in 318 hands at the NL tables, coming off a slight looser even with the quad 3's hand.

So I mistakenly figured that the limp re-raise from UTG while playing 14/7 during the first 153 hands of the MTT might work against the BB. Unfortunately he had AA. I fail to see how I can play so few hands and yet run into AA/KK/AK so many times (4 tonight).

Cash games went much, MUCH better. Got in 340 hands (no DSL connection problems!), keeping to my goal of 1500 per week and finished +49.79 BB/100.

2 interesting hands:
1 - Limped in 99 UTG, a Rockish player (17/3) raises to $2.25, the Button and I call.
[7s][Kc] Pot $7.50
With the King out there, I lead into him with a pot bet, expecting him to raise AK or AA, but he only calls, Button folds.
Pot $22.50
So now I check, planning on check-raising and praying he has AA and not slowplaying KK, but he checks behind.
Pot $22.50
Now I don't know WTF to do because I can only beat AK with his PFR range. So I figure I end up checking down the set like an ass. He had AK.

2 - This one was just strange......Maybe not.
A loose station (412/9/28) who previously called me down with bottom pair limps in, I limp in MP1 [8d], CO limps, another Rockish player (18/5/11) raises to $3.25.
The station calls, so I call, CO folds.
[6s][Jd] Pot $11
Checked to rock who bets $8, station calls $8, so I call $8 with >3-1 odds.
Pot $35
Checked around
Pot $35
Station checks and I really think about bluffing the flush here because I'm pretty sure that neither one has it and I think I can get the Rock to fold, but the station might actually call me with anything. The question is, can my pair of 8's beat his hand. I figure Rock has either AK or AQ since he didn't fire turn again. I don't know WTF to do though so I guess I gotta check and fold to his bet since I don't know what station will do. But Rock checks behind and I take the pot.
Rock = AK
Station = 44

Only losers over $10 were:
1 - How I first found out the station was a station. I couldn't take him off Q9o on a 67T4 board. He hit the Q on the river and checked that as well, but luckily I didn't bet.
2 - I ran AK into KK vs a short stack with $10 left. I flopped 2 pair too lol. Damn case King.

Masterful bluff:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?1144848

east3nwt: nc donk
east3nwt: stupid fk
east3nwt stands up

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Not so masterful bluff:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?1144858

MASTERFUL lay down:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?1144860


Good-bye Bobby Bacala
Poor guy never only murdered one defenless person in his whole life.
And who would have ever bet that Paulie lasted longer than Chris, Bobby, and Sil.

Dude......was that a naked midget wandering around in the background on Entourage? Coming attractions looked cool though. Looked like they were going to go a little more dramatic for the rest of the season.

I shoulda pushed the flop. He probably still wouldn't have let go of his AQ though. This hand would have put me among the chip leaders of the $19K with 70 left. Most likely would have been a big cash:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?1147377

FUCK ya gotta be disgustingly lucky to final table one of these.

6 hours of MTT play today. I cashed in 3 out of the 5 I played for a $13.20 profit. Cashed in 3 out of 8 MTT's so far this month, but I'm not even in profit.

As far as the cash games go.....WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? [8c] on a [Ts][Qs] board? Not that his preflop call wasn't borderline retarded either. I just gotta learn to fold AK unless it's suited.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?1147386

Fortunately, that's all that went bad in the cash games tonight. Finished up $110.40
Hit a few big draws:

I called a c/r on a [Tc][3h] board with [Jh] and hit the nut flush on the turn. Stacked a half stack who had a set of 3's.

I limp re-raised [Ks] because I knew I had a maniac behind me (54/25), but not only does he call my 6x re-raise, but UTG tigher player calls.
Flop [3s][Td] Pot $19
SB checks, I bet $12, maniac folds, SB is all-in for $33.05. I almost folded, but didn't thinking it could be JJ, QQ or a flush draw and I was getting 3-1 but it was only [Ts].

I limped with [Kd], different SB, same table, raises to $2, I re-raise to $6.50 and get 4-bet to $15. I called because everyone seemed to be playing back at me tonight.
[4s][Ks] Pot $30.50
SB bets $20, I call
Pot $70.50
Check, Check cause I know I can't lose now.
Pot $70.50
SB pushes and it turns out I only really needed the first King to win, but probably all 3 to stack him. He has QQ.

HOLY

I just lost 2 stacks with the Ace hi flush to a straight flush vs a maniac and then less than 5 minutes later with JJ vs 55 on JK5 flop.

In essence I just lost back what it took me 4 hours to win yesterday about 20 minutes after I sat down today.

ED.........how many new moniters and mouses would you need after that? Details later

I grinded up around $100 yesterday on NL25... Today, I lost $125

Excuse me while I throw up.

Ok, better. Now I can post the most disgusting hands of the year.

I have $45.75 OTB [Kc]
Folded to CO who is brand new and posted, he raises to $1.75
I re-raise to $5.75
BB, who is COMPLETELY RETARDED (VP$IP = 66), calls the $5.25 3-bet.

[Ad][8d] Pot $12.50
BB checks, I bet $7, BB is all-in for $33.50 more. About 1.6-1
So $33.50 to win $53 vs a retard.
If he has the flush, I still have 7 outs to the nut flush (2.6-1)
If he has anything else, including an Ace, and he is a retard remember, I have 12 outs. (1.2-1).
I call. He has [9d] and I hit the flush on the turn with , but it gives retard the straight flush. So, he hits 1 of about 3 or 4 possible flops that he could stack me with J9s.

A few hands later, two players get it all-in AA vs KK preflop. King on the river. Why is this important? Because 9 hands after my 1st dump off there......

[Jd] CO $56.85
KK suckout is UTG+1 and limps. He has a double stack.
MP2 limps
I raise to $2.75
BB retard calls again
UTG+1 calls and MP2 calls.

[Kc][5d] Pot $11.50
Checked to me, I bet $7.50
Retard folds, KK raises to $19, MP2 folds.
I know EXACTLY what he has. I'm 90% sure he has 55 so I push.
He calls and shows [5c].



FUCKKKKKKKK!

This guy, in a span of 4 hands, sucked out for 2 stacks as 91% and 81% dog when the money went in. Not that he played his hands bad, he played them well and should be complaining about his bad luck running into 2 monsters. But

FUCKKKKKKKKK

That's ok though because I'm suddenly doing fairly well in the $19K and I just flopped a set again! I'm gonna win it all back and then some.

BB [6s] 6400
Blinds are 100/200

Folded to hijack (5935) who raises to 475.
I call.

[Jc][6h] Pot 1050
I check, he bets 675, I call - planning on making a move on the turn. Don't want to scare him off and he has to be drawing thin to dead, no?

Pot 2400


Check check......maybe he has AK?

Pot 2400
I bet 800, he min-raises, I call. He shows KJ.

Strangely enough, not even the first person to catch quads against me either tonight. In the cash game again.

On a flop of
[8c][6d] I hold [9d] and just call a bet in a multi-way pot from the player directly on my right.

Turn is . He checks, I bet 1/2 pot, he min-check-raises and I call.

River . He checks and I check behind. He shows quad 6's and I bust up laughing as he tells me how brilliant his check was because he could have check-raised my Jack.

Anyway, I TOTALLY BLAME Oatmeal for this! He jinxed my sets because I initiated an Evangeline Lily hijack of his thread about how good sets feel. Yah, flopping sets feels FUCKING AWESOME!

Hey I didn't ask you to hijack my thread buddy. But after staring at those pics for the afternoon, I certainly don't mind at all.

I thought I ran into quads today, but it turned out I just ran into a donkey. I had KK, raised it up, board is 1066. I bet out and guy calls. Hmmm. 65 or something stupid maybe? So turn is another 6 and I bet out and he pushes. So I think for a bit, and look at his PT stats and he looks retarded so I call and he turns over K10, and I stack him. Anyway, the point of this thread is: run normal pls.