The following rule appears to apply to me. I will crush 2/4 and get crushed at 3/6. Seems iron clad. I could be overreacting since I only have two sessions upon which to base my conclusion, but that's why I say "appears" so that I have an out when I stop getting rivered and set up. I also think I got a little frustrated at 3/6 today and lost my focus, which lead me to misplay two hands that cost me some extra bets.

Anyway, I played 168 hands of 3/6 and dropped $54.50. After the first 80 hands or so, I was up $50 on one table and down $30 on the other. I then lost all of that $50 and lost another $50 on the other table before finally finishing up $32.50 and down $87. On my third table I was playing 1/2 and getting nothing except for second best hands. 79 hands for a loss of $6.75.

Bounced back this evening playing three tables of 2/4. 228 hands for a win of $22.50. I was up on all three tables before some big preflop hands got crap flops (JJ got K99 with SB betting into me and both limpers calling; I folded. Two of them had a K) (QQ got a K88 flop with a bet and raise coming to me on the flop; I folded. The raiser had KQ and the initial bettor ended up hitting his nutflush). I also misplayed tp/nk out of the BB. It went like this. One MP limper, SB, and I rap w/ Q2o. Flop comes Q88r. I check, MP bets, SB folds and I call.
Turn: 9
I check, MP bets, I call (this is the mistake; despite my crap kicker I need to fold or raise this turn)
River: J
I check/call his bet and he has KT for the runner runner str8. Bad luck and all, but a raise on the turn and I win a decent sized pot, I think. Oh well, I suck.

Okay week for me overall, but could be much better. I miss the bonuses....yes indeed I do.

Current Bankroll: $2320

Here's another rule: 50NL is going to kick the shit out of me forever, it appears. This one appears stronger than the previous rule. My week is off to flying start as I lost $121.35 today over 374 hands. The session, much as the week started off with me losing two stacks in about 15 minutes. First I tried to push a guy off of a full house. That fucker called; can you believe it? Then I stack off to a set of eights with my JJ misreading him for a draw. So excellent start. I then get stuck another $50 or so, but battle back to lose only another $21.35. Fvck me!

Just really really shitty. Shortly after getting smoked by the flopped sets I get bluffed off the winning hand. I have and the board is . Villian open pushes the river after we both check the turn. He shows me the . I wouldn't say anything like tilt happened, just got unlucky. Short stacks managed to have something each time. The table where I dropped two buyins was full of people giving their money away (yes, I was one of them, why do you ask?) I couldn't catch a hand against those guys. AK and AQ couldn't hit a flop, just real frustrating day. Days like this one make me not enjoy playing poker. I may take a couple days off. I've now lost three in a row at this level, so when I play again I'll be back at 25NL. Once there, I will crush it for 10ptbb/100 so that I can move back up to 50NL and get cold decked. Real tired of this shit.

Back in the saddle today. Handled the beats pretty well, but they all came against shorties, so that's always easier to take. Played 257 hands this afternoon and actually had to look pretty carefully to find good tables, which is usually not a problem at 25NL, but oh well, I should get used to the new online poker world. Made $14. Played again this evening 206 hands for $19.50. Really didn't catch all that much. Made all of that in one hand, which was looking like a split pot as the three of us were all-in on the turn with the nut straight. I had a suited KQ and rivered the flush for the big scoop.

Suckout of the day
I raise utg and MP (who is short with $8 stack) calls along with the BB. Flop: ($3.10)
I lead for the pot, MP pushes in, BB folds, and I call. MP has and rivers the 3. Rocked back in my chair, muttered something and got back to work. All in all, that may have been the best hand of the day for me psychologically.

I may need to revise the ole goals for the year. Afternoon poker looks not so good. 50NL was much worse and 100NL had only a couple tables and none of them looked appealing. I'm not sure if I want to revise the # hands for 5 ptbb/100 win rate is over or if I want to downgrade the winrate to 4ptbb or what. Perhaps it is already time to switch over to shorthanded. I dunno. Guess I don't have to switch it up right away. I can play out the month and see where I'm at.

Still on the upswing. 209 hands of 25NL for $50, which made 3 consecutive winners so back up to 50NL. Okay session this evening, I sucked out a winner early on, which made me feel good and dirty. I then managed to lose several medium sized pots on crap boards for my hands before finally picking up a good sized one to finish up for the night: 222 hands $24.

Big hand from 25NL. EP limper, I raise to $1.25 and the SB and EP call. Flop: AQ6r ($4)
Checked to me, I bet $2 and both of them call. SB has $8.40 left, EP started with near full stack.
Turn: this puts a flush draw out ($10)
Checked to me, I bet $9, SB calls, EP thinks for a good long while and calls
River: non heart blank
Check, I push, he calls
SB has and EP has an offsuit A-K

Suckout hand from 50NL. UTG I raise to $2 with and get two MP callers, one a big donk who takes a bit before calling, which makes me suspicious that he has a big hand here, but I try not to make much of the time factor in online poker. Flop comes out rags but two clubs, so I c-bet $4. First MP folds, donkey MP pushes in short stack. I call, he has aces but I river him. I didn't have the odds to call his push, so that's why I felt a little a dirty.

50NL utg min raises and several people call, I call otb. Pot's around $6. Flop QJ6r
UTG bets $2, MP calls, I raise to $7 and both call.
Turn: 5 ($28)
Checked to me, I bet $15 after a bit of thought and they both fold. Still not sure betting this is right, but I think I needed to charge a possible draw there.

Started off this afternoon shitty but nice finish this evening. 276 hands of 50NL losing $22.90, whcih makes this stint a $1 profit (Woooohooooo). Of today's loss, I will cop to $14 of that as bad play, when I decided to call for no damn good reason as the only hand I could beat was a bluff. The guy had trips after calling my 5bb raise with QTo. I mean, I love that guy and all, but I'd appreciate it if only one of those tens had fell. I might cop to a bit more, but I was shortstacked w/ JJ on flop of undercards and turn undercard. PFR who had made it a wopping 2.5bb preflop had QQ. Fvck his small raise! (I'm slightly intoxicated btw).

So anyway, I make some dinner tonight. Decide to roast some salmon in aluminum foil with some butter, onion wedges and a few lemon wedges, seasonings. Cooked it at 475F for 20+ minutes, but still not quite done. Put it under the broiler for a minute each side and got it finished but the edges were dried out, of course. Fvck aluminum foil! I'm back to normal roasting in the pan next time around. After dinner, my son is dancing around to the Talking Head's "Psycho Killer" and the top shelf of our china cabinet falls, along with lots of stuff, which was very -EV. Not as bad as it could of been. The crystal held up surprisingly well, but we lost several items. So that sucked.

Hit the limit tables and started off playing 2 tables of 2/4, but got on a good looking 3/6 table shortly after. Raised with a pair of jacks on the 3/6 table and caught a set on the flop QJ4. 2 callers of my flop c-bet. Turn card a 4; they both call, and again on the river. The cards were a busted gut shot draw with AKo and KQo. Nice hands guys. Picked up one or two more small pots at 3/6 before the table broke up. 34 hands for $74.50. Picked up another 2/4 table and played 428 hands total for $69.60. I was up over $100 for a brief stretch before picking up Kowboys three times and getting three flops with an A. Suckville! Oh well, money still pretty good.

Profitable day, but only at one limit. I lost money at every limit other than 2/4 but what I made at this limit covered all the losses. Perhaps I should limit myself to just 2/4 since it appears to be my bread and butter. There's no way it could be variance or anything.
0.50/1 110 hands -$8.20
1/2 83 hands -$15.40
2/4 651 hands $77.20
3/6 33 hands -$19.50

Kowboys continued to suck ass today, but other hands did better, so I came out ahead. Had a very good session going tonight before my set of fives got buried on the turn by a gutshot. I think I got a little too intoxicated toward the end, as I was playing a little looser than normal. Noticed this when my AT was beaten by AK on a KTx board. Not sure what I was doing in there after I got check raised on the flop. At any rate, I left all tables when my blinds rolled around. Still up, and that's always good.

So bankroll situation. I had put $400 extra into Bodog and UB before the Neteller fiasco, which I haven't been counting. Since I currently have no ewallet, I can't really withdraw that money, and I'm tired of subtracting it, so I'm just counting it as bankroll for the next couple weeks. At some point, all this crap will settle down and I'll get the money out, but for now, it's in there. I've been playing without a bonus for 2 weeks now, I think. Much as I enjoy Bodog, I'm thinking perhaps it's time to play elsewhere. I have the bonus at UB, but it's UB (as Kuso pointed out early in this journal). Thinking about opening an account at FT or Absolute so that I can sign up for rakeback. If I had rakeback at Bodog, I probably would never leave, but as it is, I lose a significant amount to the rake each time I play. To make matters worse, the limits I play are the ones hit hardest by the rake. At any rate, I can't move the bankroll right now, so signing up to a new cardroom is not something that will be happening immediately.

Current Bankroll: (with 400 of this as non game related)
Bodog: $2605
UB: $260
Total: $2865

Good day today. Played three sessions of 50NL and had three winners. 599 hands for $126.31. I got some hands to play today and several folks felt like donating to the cause, hence the good winrate. So I guess that's three wins in a row, but the afternoon game selections are not too great, as I posted about somewhere in here recently. 50max games are not too terrible in the afternoon, but 100max is slim pickings, so think I will stay at 50max for tomorrow afternoon. If things continue well, then I'll take a shot at 100max tomorrow evening.

I'm leaving for the ski trip on Tuesday and will be gone until next Sunday. I'm not sure what level I'm going to start back at. I think it depends on how I finish up tomorrow. We'll see.

I'm fairly happy with my play. Not overly confident, since I've been catching some hands, but I've been toning down the plays, trying to keep things a bit more simple. I'm still making some moves but picking my spots a bit more carefully. I read Baluga Whale's well over at 2+2 after Kuso linked to it, and that sort of helped me out. BW plays a TAG style and is successful at the midstakes up to 400max. I was in the mindset that I would have to develop a more laggy style to move up, but since he's done well with a TAG style, I feel kind of good about my own game. I've been thinking about this bad run and think perhaps I was adding too many plays to my game and just generally getting too far from my basic style. So sort of feeling a little restored, but winning always helps with that.

Pretty good day overall, though I took a beating tonight at the limit tables. Played an afternoon session at 50max and was up, so looking like I was headed to 100 but in the last orbit, I managed to pick up AA and ole Stu Ungar was prescient indeed. Lost 22.50 with the rockets, then raised on another table with AQs and got a coordinated flop that missed me completely with two callers, so check fold there. Finished down $3.67 for the session. Played another session this evening at 50max and won $39.20; just standard stuff. Short stacks wanted to donate and such.

I then decided to take it easy and play some 2/4 and 3/6 limit while watching Studio 60 with my wife. Lost $38.25 at 2/4 on just some horrendous shit, but made $14 at the 3/6. Was up $44 at 3/6 before losing a couple hands. One of them was me raising 88 in MP and getting the BTN and SB to call. Flop comes QQ7(with flush draw) and I bet, BTN calls, SB raises. Uh oh, I call as does BTN who slow played trips on a previous hand. SB leads turn, I fold. K comes on the river and they cap it. Each has KQ, so that was really lucky for me.

Week is probably over for me since I leave tomorrow, but may have some internet access. At any rate, I'll be back on Sunday. Feelin good about my play in general. Made some mistakes here and there but overall not bad.

Got thrashed yesterday evening. Played a third session of 25NL and won $7 over 400 hands or so. I was down most of that time, which contributed to me playing more hands. One cold deck after another. I basically picked up two big pots and that balanced out al the thrashings. Moved up to 50NL this evening and it was just sick. I'll spare all the gory details. If you've played any significant amount of time, you know what tonight was like. 284 hands to lose $63. Last hand I played was the following:
I'm in MP with , one player has limped in (he limps a lot) I raise to $2.50 and the BB calls, the limper folds. Flop comes: A85 rainbow ($5.75)
BB donks into me for 50c and I raise to $5, he calls
Turn: J (15.75)
BB bets 50c again (I've seen this pattern numerous times and it is usually tp/nk) I raise to $10, he calls
River: 7
50c I raise to $10 he calls with A5o
Full blown tilt sets in immediately and I shut down all tables. I don't need to be raising this river, I guess. Of the tp hands, I can't beat all that many of them anymore. I was behind from the flop onwards but just generally irate after a whole night of shit like this. At any rate, $10 due to bad play. Sigh.

I wasn't ready to stop, but decided more NL would be a bad idea, so fired up three tables of 2/4 limit. More thrashings, but won a couple pots in my last orbits to lose only $7 over 190 hands.

I'm immediately dropping back to 25NL, as my complete loss of composure last night suggests that I'm not mentally ready to play 50NL or beyond atm. Even this morning, I sense a bit of disgust on my part, hinting that one bad beat or cold deck will send me off the deep end. I'm going to concentrate today on not tilting and not thinking negatively. My poker game can take care of itself.

Today proved to be quite the test mentally. I would say I didn't do so well maintaining positive thoughts this afternoon, but pretty good this evening all things considered. Dropped $19 this afternoon over 300 hands or so, but got back $24 tonight over 280 hands. Pitiful win rate for the day, but better than a loss. Lost two big pots in the first session to same guy. He buys-in for $10 and has about that, limps utg, I complete in SB with and the flop comes with an A. I lead, he pushes in (a flush draw is out there), fold around to me and I call to see his AJ. A bit later, I raise KK in EP and he and the BB call. Flop comes
I bet the pot and former-shorty calls, BB folds.
Turn
He's got less than the pot, so I put him in and see his QQ.
Prolly played this too fast, but since he's a short stacker I'm giving him a lot less credit. Still, I could have attempted to keep the pot a bit smaller.

So anyway, I battled back from those losses to make the session less of a loser. Tonight's session got off pretty rocky as well. Lost several pots to a LAG who managed to catch his hands tonight. I won one large pot when I turned the nut straight and two other guys made the second nut str8. They both gave me their stacks, so that was nice. Tomorrow's agenda includes more mind control and positive thinking whilst playing some NL hold'em.

Success! Well, sort of. I didn't monkey tilt tonight, and that's a pretty large accomplishment given what happened. Played a short session this afternoon and made $60 in 164 hands thanks to this one:
I complete in the SB with 87o. Lots of people in this pot. Flop comes:
I checks EP limper bets the minimum or maybe it was 2bb, and 3 other people call, so i call.
Turn
I lead $2 into $3 or so, EP calls, MP times out, LP raises sizable, BTN calls, I raise, EP (who is a donkey and most likely has a flush draw here) calls, LP raises again, BTN times out, I push, EP calls all-in and LP calls (he has my $30 something stack covered). River is a blank and my nut hand takes down the $100 pot. EP had , LP had . Thanks guys. I managed to lose money at the other two tables by missing every damn flop. Maintained positive thinking pretty well during the afternoon, but this hand made it pretty easy.

So along comes tonight. I'm doing okay, up slightly after 50-60 hands or so and then in quick succession (like within ten hands) these three hands happen on all three of my tables.
I have AA in MP and raise to $1, LP (who has a $100 stack) and BB call. Flop ($3)
I bet the pot, LP mini raises me, BB folds. I have an amount I want to raise to, but that will pot commit me, so I just call.
Turn: ($15)
I check, LP puts me in, I call. I don't normally make this call, but one of the first hands I saw on the table was this guy raising then putting a guy all in with top pair and a gutshot, so went with that read. WRONG! He had . At least I had three outs.

Next. Short stack ($10) mini raises utg, MP calls, I raise in MP with QQ to $2. Folds to shorty who mini-reraises me. MP folds, I call. Flop: three rags 9-high
UTG pushes, I call. He has AA.

Next. I have AA in LP. Four limpers or so, I raise to $3 and two of them call. Flop: 964r (9.65)
They both check, I bet $5, one of them calls
Turn: 4 completing the rainbow
He checks and I check as I can't see much other than a pp or set calling me on this flop. Checking may get the pp to call my value bet on the river.
River: 4 (19.65)
He checks, I bet $6 and he miniraises me. Miniraises on the river typically mean big hand and unfortunately I have sizable pot odds to call, so I do. He has , so called me on the flop with A high, needing runner runner.

No monkey tilt; could have but resisted. An orbit or so later this hand happens. Four or five limpers and I complete in the SB with . Flop ($1.75)
I lead for $1.25, folds to LP who miniraises me. I call
Turn: (6.75)
I check, he bets 6.75. I have $15 or so left and push in. He has .

I pick up QQ and raise getting four callers. Flop comes: AAQ two clubs. I bet the pot and everyone folds. Was hoping to stack someone with an A. I think I could have bet less to try and draw in a flush draw, but was really hoping to get a random A to double me up.

Short stack with $5 calls my raise. I have . Flop comes 348 rainbow. I bet $2 shorty calls. Turn card a 9. Shorty open pushes a massive $2 and I call with marginal odds to see his TT. Meh.

Never lost it tonight and that is something positive. I suppose I could also throw in the two times that I rivered two pair and a straight while someone else hit a backdoor flush. All in all, brutal night, but I don't feel too bad. I made a couple mistakes, but I think the cards just fell against me in rather horrific fashion. I suppose one other positive thing is that this all happened at 25NL rather than 50.

I'm leaving for a conference tomorrow and won't be able to play again until Sunday. Prolly good to take a few days off after tonight. I may have kept it together tonight, but another string of hands like this in the next session and it would be pretty difficult to stay positive.

Since I'm not going to post on Saturday,
Current Bankroll: $2960

Not so great today. Considering jumping on a few limit tables to finish up, but my old ass prolly can't stay awake for more than 100 hands right now. Yep.....I'm done. So here's the post. I got back early enough last night to play a bit of limit. I fell asleep in my chair after a little over 100 hands, so closed down after another orbit w/140 hands total. Lost money at the lone .50/1 table and made a good score at 2/4.

NL table was brutal. Beat after beat; just some sicko stuff. Such as, I limp JTo in LP and flop tp on a drawing board. Chks to me, I bet teh pot and get one caller. Bet the pot on the turn, he calls. River is a K for the lone over card. He checks, I check, he has KTo and had called two pot sized bets on a gutshot, which I also had, so nice three-outer there. I'd like to say that I never lost the positive outlook; but too much sickness today. Never lost it and tilted or anything but the beats were so bad, I had to force myself to laught to keep from smashing the mouse. Sessions went $8 win, $47 loss, $3 win. Last session I was down until a decent hand in the last orbit put me in the black; otherwise, I'd have been staring down a must win session tomorrow to avoid the move down to 10NL.

This is quite the mental struggle. The hits keep coming and I have to remind myself not to start thining about what I deserve and how unlucky I'm getting. All that has to be set aside and I must simply focus on the present hand; yet, it is really hard to do when you've just taken one suckout/cold deck after another. VERY HARD!

In other news, the conference was a fun time. My presentation went well. I drove there and I don't know how familiar the gentle reader is with the area around Memphis, but until you get into Memphis, the radio station selection is: country, classic rock, and "Jesus loves you." I only like some country music, so I would stop when I heard Johnny or Willie but most of the time I listened to classic rock (I already know that Jesus loves me, so I don't need any reminders there). I have to say, I heard more Pink Floyd in the two days of travel than I have in the last year. Folks in Arkansas/Kentucky/Tennessee/Missouri love their Pink Floyd. I should also add that I never heard the same Pink Floyd tune; so that's some serious love.