by emmasdad » Sat Dec 30, 2006 11:04 am
Funniest story?
A buddy and I were hitch hiking in Humboldt county CA and got picked up by a very very strange guy that tried to explain to us that he had an invention that would revolutionize the automobile industry - the 7 cylinder engine. This guy went on and on, with an Eagles tape in the tape deck playing at not quite the correct speed, and a large dog in the back seat next to me that would howl at parts of the songs. We left the car so fast when we got to where we were going that I left my weed in the guy's car. The entire scene was freaking hilarious. The guy even offered us a job felling timber, which we politely declined.
Scariest story?
Hitch hiking with a friend to Southern California from near Reno. We got to Bishop just before a storm came in and got a ride from a 16 year old kid and his 40 year old girlfriend, who was sucking him off as we drove down the road in their stolen car. It was that or get stuck in the snow outside, so we took the ride. The next morning, we got a ride from a guy that was dying. He was a WWII vet from Boise Idaho that was driving to his doctor in Riverside. After about 20 minutes, he was unable to continue driving, and had me drive. He was turning blue and pissing blood. I insisted that we turn around and go to the hospital in Bishop, but he was having none of it, said that if he died on the way then that was God's will. He broke out a bottle of whiskey and started drinking, passed us the bottle, and told us the story of his life. 14 kids, 4 by wife #1, 9 by wife #2, and one by wife #2's daughter from a previous marriage. He told us war stories from the Pacific. He was still alive when we got to the hospital in Riverside, but he was shaking terribly and was totally blue around his face and hands. I really thought this guy was going to die in the pick-up as I drove. In retrospect, I should have driven him back to the hospital in Bishop, but I was young then and scared, and he was very adamant about not going to the hospital in Bishop.
Most degenerate story?
Buddies bachelor party, we were in east county San Diego and getting wasted. We went out to a strip club, where some drunk Navy sailor mistook me for Quentin Tarrantino. Not being one to rain on his parade, our group accepted his drinks, the lap dances he purchased, and the private room for the groom. I remember the rest of the night in bits and pieces, but I distinctly remember getting an Iranian convenience store owner to give us beer well after the 2 am cutoff time then going down to Oceanside and meeting up with another random group of people, where we all went skinny dipping in the ocean. Then the harbor patrol showed up, and I stood there in my underwear talking the officer out of arresting us becasue my buddy was getting married in like 9 hours. The police let us go but made us leave the beach, so we went to Denny's, got some food, and tried to sober up before the wedding. Man, the bride's parents were pissed when we showed up 1 hour before the wedding totally hung over, but a couple of red eyes and we were good to go. The new mark for success in a bachelor party is getting caught naked by the police and not getting arrested.