Okay... It's like 6am, I'm sittin at work, talkin to AlexMr, 4 tabling Pacific NL200... Basically just another boring night... So, I'm trying to think of (non tubgirl) ways to entertain myself, when all of a sudden it hits me... PORN... MWAHAHAHAHA... I'm obsessed with the new Mr. Chews line that I found in Limewire recently (can I get an Amen Shamdonk???)...

So, I scootch the tables over (praise Jebus for a 20" WUVX or whatever ubersharp screen) enough so that my eyes can be befriended by Finesse... Shamdonk and others, if this name is foreign to you, DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.... You just dont know...

Well, I'm donking around, now prolly in more than one sense, when I realize I'm paying a LIIIIIIIIIITTE too much attention to my new obsession (sorry Lily, but I've seen you do youre stuff like 10000000000000 times in the last week and need to see other women).... So much so that I friggin unposted somehow and am sittin out on the table... I curse and bitch and hem and haw as I repost and pay the goddamn extra dead dollar, cause dammit, I'm just THAT tite, and can't be bothered waiting 8 hands... PLUS, if i'm left NOT playing and watchin this damned video... well... yknow whats gonna end up happenin... and thatt is DEFINITELY not cool in a room w/ a bunch of crazies next door... So, anyways, I post, and learn just exactly why poker and porn DO NOT MIX...

***** Pacific Hand History for Game 11337492 *****
$1/$2 Blinds No Limit Hold'em - *** 08 08 05:27:10 2006
Table Metropolitana (Real Money)
Seat 1 is the button
Total number of players : 9
Seat 10: FUGGEDUP ( $211.75 )
Seat 1: scisno1 ( $95 )
Seat 2: FLAGG93 ( $198 )
Seat 3: andrews6 ( $306.95 )
Seat 5: chefrm ( $202.6 )
Seat 6: 3DMman ( $206.8 )
Seat 7: Sibakero ( $198 )
Seat 8: XLENT ( $79.5 )
Seat 9: jahD ( $163.65 )
FLAGG93 posts small blind [$1].
andrews6 posts big blind [$2].
FUGGEDUP posts dead blind [$1].
FUGGEDUP posts big blind [$2].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to FUGGEDUP
chefrm folds.
3DMman calls [$2].
Sibakero folds.
XLENT folds.
jahD folds.
FUGGEDUP checks.
scisno1 calls [$2].
FLAGG93 calls [$1].
andrews6 checks.

As soon as I see my hand, I post the autofold and go back to Finesse... I mean, sure anything can happen, but she's doin things that would get her arrested in 52 states, and I'm overly compelled to watch... Luckily for me, this is the first hand in like 10000000000 that no one raised PF... Woot for me...

** Dealing Flop **
FLAGG93 bets [$7].
andrews6 folds.
3DMman folds.
FUGGEDUP calls [$7].
scisno1 folds.

Okay, I'm half paying attention... Gigglin to myself a little at how I'm gonna bust this butthole w/ 72... FINESSE, I WILL PROVE MY LOVE FOR YOU HERE...

** Dealing Turn **
FLAGG93 bets [$15].
FUGGEDUP raises [$40].
FLAGG93 raises [$174].
FUGGEDUP calls [$149].

Okay... in my defense, as soon as he 3bets, good ole Finesse does something (which if I mentioned it would undoubtedly get me banned from BTP) that is unbelievably, inexplicably just hella cool... Some might even say t33h, even though I have NO friggin idea what that means... I mean, visualize in your mind the orangejuice pooping, now ( and i guess 5 years ago, even though I cant remember) famous Tubgirl, then take the EXACT OPPOSITE of that in pure amazing sexiness... It was about the porn equivalent of parting the Red Sea or building the Pyramids or Pauly Shore getting work... SOOOOOOOOOOOOO, as you may assume, my attention was split pretty evenly between the two... And when I say evenly, I OBVIOUSLY mean I was watching her stick half of the chinese army in her with like 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% and donkin off w/ my FABULOUS 2pr w/ whatever the crap was left over... Anyways...


** Dealing River **
** Summary **
FUGGEDUP shows .
FLAGG93 shows .
FUGGEDUP shows .
FLAGG93 shows .
FLAGG93 collected [$399].

So... moral of the story...???? Quit poker, lock yourself in the basement, log onto Limewire, and pirate as many movies that use all the keywords: Finesse, Chinese Army, Holy Sweet Living Jebus, etc...

Beautiful

Link to the wonderful world that is Finesse?

That link doesn't work.

Do a google search donk... It can't POSSIBLY be that hard to find...