I hate losing so much more than I enjoy winning!!!

So I was down about two buy-ins last night. Won the exact same amount the night before. So it's a net break-even, right? I should feel fine, right? Nope, I feel like absolute cr*p and I want to take time off from the game.

OK, the last hand I played, I played about as badly as it's possible to play. And that was 40 bucks of the 110 I lost. My mind wasn't in the game anymore, I was getting ready to leave, and I thought what the hell, this hand MIGHT be the best. So that was dumb.

And 50 of the 110 was KK vs AA when despite my own advice I couldn't lay it down. So really I was only down $20 apart from, well, one terrible hand and one you-can't-get-away-from-it hand.

But I still want to take time off, stop playing. It's like it's this emergency and I now suck at this game. I don't want to lose any more money or even take the chance. I don't even want to read the forums today, it just brings back painful memories.

Anybody else have this problem? Any solutions?

Let me preface the statements below with this: I have the same problem.

One of the things that has helped me keep an eye on the bigger picture (and that's all you really need, I think) is by keeping a look at monthly or even quarterly results. Although I look at my game day by day, I usually don't really change much unless my month or my quarter starts going into the red. In this way, if I have a single bad day followed by another bad day, this doesn't really matter because I'm still up x amount over the last 30.

The irony here is how I've felt after this past weekend (where I dropped by more than $250 (about 15% of my bankroll)) - last night I was so upset that my wife had to tell me I was on tilt. So what that I'm still having a record-breaking month for me. That didn't matter. I was up $800 on the month, now I'm up $550. But the only thing I could think of last night was that I dropped $250 over 4 days.

What I'm trying to say is to get that long term perspective. The "its all one big long game" point of view. Cliched? Yes. Is it still important? Yes.

Taking a break isn't a bad idea though, as long as this isn't your main income (if it is - taking a break has more ramifications and needs proper planning). Leave the game aside for a little bit and make sure your mind is in the right place. You shouldn't focus on the hands that you lose, but rather look at the big picture. Sure you lost $50 on x hand and another $40 on y hand - but you are still having great results. These two hands cost you $90. But the previous 4000 hands made you $1000.

Hope some of this made sense and good luck getting back into the right frame of mind.

/d

You are both inside my head.

I am one of the most competitve people you will ever meet and I hate to lose at anything. I could be playing a video game with a friend and beat him 9 times in a row but lose the 10th and be completely pissed.

I had a record february even after losing over the last week and then proceeded to drop almost another $500 at the beginning of March so I was in a piss poor mood. However, I have to look at things objectively.

I was up about $3000 for all of 2004. Since the beginning of 2005, I am up almost $1500. in less than a 3 month period that included a 3 week losing streak, I am up about 50% of my whole last year total. I should be happy, but I'm not. I've been more frustrated with poker than ever.

You got to do whatever you need to do in order to put yourself in the right mindset. For me, that included a couple breaks from poker, a less stressful playing schedule, dropping down limits and playing more ABC poker for a bit. Its not easy but I'm sure I will come out of it okay but I will always hate losing more than I love winning.

I'm sure the same applies to you but its just something you have to live with.

Take a break or try to change the way you look at the game. If, like play, 90% of the enjoyment you get from the game comes from winning, it is a frustrating lifestyle and a frustrating game. To play 2 or 3 hours and be a coupla hundred lighter than when you started is a strange and difficult feeling.

I think it's much easier if your prime motivation for playing is to play well - unless of course you lost money playing poorly, in which case it can be doubly bad!

This is the frustrating paradox of poker, I guess.

Stick with it and imagine how much worse you'd feel if you lost $100 playing about 4 months back, k3nt! At least you've come a long way since then...

Monk
xxxxx

Brian, your post made me think, and it's true, I do hate to lose in general.

I can take it too far sometimes.

During graduate school, I played tennis over three straight summers with one of my fellow students, a good friend. I was better at tennis than he was. He had a nasty serve and some good power, but some very exploitable weaknesses. I think we played 2-3 sets per time, 2-3 times per week, probably 15-20 weeks per year for 3 years. So that's maybe 200 sets of tennis, minimum? I won every single set. And when he got close to taking one from me, I really swore at myself, hunkered down, played hard, hit my best shot at his weakest point, and just generally made damn sure I won the key point or points. I was completely in the zone where I refused to lose. Even once! (He beat me at other games, especially Madden 98 for Playstation. )

Anyway. I did get back and play some more poker early this evening. I had a pretty rough time on the tables with a couple of suckouts, and couldn't lay down two hands I should have that cost me a bunch. And some tricky players made some tricky plays at me, which always pisses me off. But I finished up about half a buy-in overall. So I feel pretty good.

Played with suhleafs for the first time tonight. He very graciously took money from other people at the table but not from me. Except when I insisted he take a couple of bucks, one hand.

I guess poker is all about results for me, still. It shouldn't be but it is.

Thanks for the feedback, everybody.

An old article from a guy I'm really close to

http://www.thepokerforum.com/angel2.htm

Great article TUP, who is that writer though, I think he needs a haircut

You know, TUP, this Angel guy seems pretty smart.

I do have times when I don't think I am any good at this game. OK, I know that I'm not "good" yet, compared to actual real good poker players -- but I have times when I think I'm not even good enough to beat the low-limit games on GC. Even though, of course, I have done it pretty well so far.

For me, it's often an intellectual thing. I ask myself, exactly what is it that I think I know about the game that makes me more likely to win than to lose? And when I'm in my worried mode, I can't come up with anything.

I mean, I live to hit my set and bust the guy who's on TPTK, but what's going to stop me from losing just as much when my TPTK gets busted by a set? Questions like that haunt me. And I'm rarely sure I have an answer.

What do good players do? So far, I think, they both raise more and fold more than lousy players. Lousy players call and call. That much I have figured out. People who call and call and call -- money int he bank. Just keep betting your good hands, folding your bad ones, and you'll take their money pretty fast. But those folks who are re-raising me and folding at unexpected times -- what do I have over them? Anything? Or am I doomed to break even, minus the rake, when I'm on a table with no idiot calling stations?

Anyway, thanks again for the link to that smart dude with the weird hair.

Do something else for a short period of time. Rest. Eat good foods. Get laid. Exercise.

What makes the great players great is how they play when things are going against them.

Playing tight but aggressive is one of the skills necessary to be a good poker player. A skill nearly equal in importance is the abilty to handle the short term swings of the game.

Take it easy

YD