![[5c]](https://www.pofex.com/images/smilies/5c.gif "The Five of Clubs")
![[7c]](https://www.pofex.com/images/smilies/7c.gif "The Seven of Clubs")
A very unattractive, mean actin' woman walks into Walmart with
her two kids. After shoving her way past several customers waiting to
get carts, she says to the Walmart greeter, "Go through those carts
and find me one that doesn't need oiling for once!"
"Yes Ma'am, happy to oblige," says the Greeter, and goes and
picks out a cart for her.
"Here you are, Ma'am, hope this one is okay," he says.
"If you'd get out of my way, maybe I could find out!" snaps the woman.
"Sorry, Ma'am," the Greeter says, standing aside, "And you and
the twins have a nice day."
The woman snarls, "They're not twins, you moron! They don't even
look alike."
The greeter smiles, "No they don't Ma'am. I just couldn't
believe you got laid twice."
Quote/Joke
Moderators: TightWad, LPF Police Department
16 posts
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80Proof - Posts: 804
- Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 8:14 am
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Spank_her_Pair - Posts: 1218
- Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2005 11:27 pm
- Location: Henderson, NV
by Felonius_Monk » Fri Jul 07, 2006 6:56 pm
The Monkman J[c]
"Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down." - Snow, 1993
"Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down." - Snow, 1993
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Felonius_Monk - Semi Pro (B&M & Online)
- Posts: 7243
- Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 10:40 am
- Location: Yorkshire, UK
by Felonius_Monk » Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:48 pm
The Monkman J[c]
"Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down." - Snow, 1993
"Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down." - Snow, 1993
-
Felonius_Monk - Semi Pro (B&M & Online)
- Posts: 7243
- Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 10:40 am
- Location: Yorkshire, UK
by Jimmyjohn » Sat Jul 08, 2006 10:05 pm
One Saturday afternoon I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking a beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this, that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
I took a drink from my can of Coors Light, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Bans and stared directly at this nosey bitch and then calmly replied...
"I am, and that's why she cuts the grass."
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this, that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
I took a drink from my can of Coors Light, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Bans and stared directly at this nosey bitch and then calmly replied...
"I am, and that's why she cuts the grass."
"Shoot, boy....If you got enough luck, you can use S%#T for brains!!!!"
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Jimmyjohn - Posts: 137
- Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 8:08 pm
- Location: Texas Gulf Coast
by Jimmyjohn » Sat Jul 08, 2006 10:23 pm
Sensitivity and the Arts
A couple attending an art exhibition at the
National Gallery were staring at a portrait that had
them totally confused. The painting depicted three
black men totally naked, sitting on a park bench.
Two of the men had black penises, but the one seated
in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized the confused
couple were having trouble interpreting the painting
and offered his assessment. He went on and on for
nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the
sexual emasculation of African-Americans in a
predominantly white, patriarchal society. "In fact",
he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that
the pink penis also reflects the cultural and
sociological oppression expressed by gay men in a
contemporary society".
After the curator left, an Irish man approached
the couple and said; Would you like to know what the
painting is really about?"
"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert
than the curator of the Gallery?", asked the couple.
"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied.
"In fact, there is no African- American
representation at all. They're just three Irish
coal-miners. The guy in the middle went home for
lunch."
A couple attending an art exhibition at the
National Gallery were staring at a portrait that had
them totally confused. The painting depicted three
black men totally naked, sitting on a park bench.
Two of the men had black penises, but the one seated
in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized the confused
couple were having trouble interpreting the painting
and offered his assessment. He went on and on for
nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the
sexual emasculation of African-Americans in a
predominantly white, patriarchal society. "In fact",
he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that
the pink penis also reflects the cultural and
sociological oppression expressed by gay men in a
contemporary society".
After the curator left, an Irish man approached
the couple and said; Would you like to know what the
painting is really about?"
"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert
than the curator of the Gallery?", asked the couple.
"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied.
"In fact, there is no African- American
representation at all. They're just three Irish
coal-miners. The guy in the middle went home for
lunch."
"Shoot, boy....If you got enough luck, you can use S%#T for brains!!!!"
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Jimmyjohn - Posts: 137
- Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 8:08 pm
- Location: Texas Gulf Coast
by Felonius_Monk » Sat Jul 08, 2006 10:53 pm
Very good 
The Monkman J[c]
"Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down." - Snow, 1993
"Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down." - Snow, 1993
-
Felonius_Monk - Semi Pro (B&M & Online)
- Posts: 7243
- Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 10:40 am
- Location: Yorkshire, UK
16 posts
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