well having given a fair number of speeches I reccomend the following

1. keep it simple. Don't get into a long soliuqy about some stupid little event that happened ten years ago unless it is really funny.

2. a little embarassment is ok for the groom, a lot of embarrassment is just plain rude.

3. Don't tell any stories or speeches that inlvolve the words "ex" or "girlfriend" unless they relate to the bride!

4. be polite and respectfull.

Say something like this.

"for those who don't know me I am "insert best mans name", the best man. I have known "insert grooms name" here for "x" amount of years. In that time I have been there to celebrate his accomplishments and provide sympathy for his defeats. As his best friend/brother it gives me great pleasure to be able to be here today to celebrate his marraige with his family and friends. It is with a great honor that we toast you two here today and wish you the best in your new life together" (or some such bullshit)

or

"When bob and I first had gay sex I told him you will never be able to do better than me. Sure enough i was wrong. Because today we stand here today to celebrate his marraige to this bitch who stole him from me"


you choose, either one should work!

hope that helps.

I've been to about a thousand weddings...that happens when your wife is popular. Let me give you this advice -- if you do this well, it will do very little good. If you do it poorly you'll ruin the wedding. I'm not trying to put pressure on you, but rather to tell you this simple fact: don't overdo it. Because you giving a great speech doesn't matter. But you giving a bad speech, or something inappropriate, will be traumatic to the bride. Forever.

Have you seen Bull Durham, where Crash is teaching Nuke to talk to the press? That's you. Say nothing. Throw out a few comments that don't mean anything and don't contain anything specific.

Bonus, if you're single and you want to get laid, throw in a comment that "I hope one day I can find what they've found." If you say something to that extent, the panties will actually fall off one of the bridesmaids at that instant. Plus the bride will love it.

At the end of the day, try to say something that will make the bride happy. Because she'll poison your dog one day if you don't.