Let's start a thread of the best poker story you've ever heard, or told yourself.

I'll start with one about Cloutier back in the day.

It's what he thinks is the best bluff he's ever made. Back in the day in Louisiana against a guy who would always put his head down and never look up if he was really involved in a hand. Cloutier made a bet, opponent (Wayne) calls and puts his head down. Since they used to deal for themselves back then, the dealer accidentally grabbed Cloutier's cards (which were the nuts on the turn) and pulled them into the muck. However, since Cloutier knew that Wayne hadn't seen this, he just put his hands together like he was covering his cards...the river was dealt...Cloutier pushed in with no cards...and Wayne folded...the rest of the table didn't say a word. He won a pot without cards...nice.

Next?

MtM's five-bet bluff in 2-7 triple draw is sweet, though perhaps not that unusual. i've only heard an abbreviated version, so i'll leave it to someone else to tell if they deem it worthy.

other than that, there was this one time in band camp, when .....

I'm stretching the definition of story here but here goes...

Rounders (1998)

Cast overview, first billed only:

Gretchen Mol .... Jo
Famke Janssen .... Petra



Biography for Tod Williams

Spouse
Gretchen Mol (1 June 2004 - present)
Famke Janssen (1995 - 2000) (divorced)

Not sure if it is true. But this guy I was playin with at winstar told about a hand.

I think it was in one of the casinos in Biloxi. And they have a Bad Beat Jackpot. And this rich lady and this other guy were in a big hand against each other. And the lady and the guy had some kind of conflict in the past and she really disliked him. So anyways, they get down to the river and they guy bets the rest of his money into the pot with Aces over Kings and teh lady calls with Quads. He shows his hand first and then the lady flashes the quads to him and mucks!!!! She didnt want him to win the Jackpot.

I want to hear the MtM story

This is a true story, I posted it on UPF about a year or so ago. Still my personal favorite.

For the second Tuesday in a row I had to opportunity to attend a home game at a co-worker's house. Last week's game was pretty fruitful for me, they play 1-3 spread with 1/2 blinds and I finished up $120. No one is that particularly good, most of them are your typical chaser/fisherman types.

This week's game featured a couple of new players. Paulie Nofold (that's how they introduced him to me) was a fat, bald, Italian guy of about 60 who never met a bottom pair or gutshot draw he didn't like. 'Jack' was the brother of the game's one resident 'pro', Joe. JoeThePro is the guy that tells you the odds of everything, what he thinks you have, and what a great fold he just made. He says he plays on Full Tilt once in a while, my guess is that they love him there if he does. Jack (his brother) is like a younger, more bungholey version of JoeThePro. There were 3 other guys, all pretty much average players (and quite boring, actually).

After the first hour, Paulie Nofold had rebought his original $40 twice, and Bungholey Jack was down about $50. Chris, my co-worker, is a total LAG and was sitting on my left, unfortunately. He is pretty easy to read, but has better instincts than the rest of them. He raises from UTG the max, making it $5 to go. Of course Paulie Nofold calls, as do JoeThePro and Bungholey Jack. His raise could be anything from AA to 36 sooted, but I give up my 74o BB and grab a cold Rolling Rock and slice of pepperoni.

After max betting the flop, turn and river, with only Paulie Nofold staying to the end, Chris shows QQ, only to realize that Paulie caught his runner runner flush to suck him out. Chris (who conveniently forgets that he is probably up $30 already thanks to Paulie's chasing) goes apesh*t on him for calling him down and vows to bust him. Chris is pretty easily tilted, btw.

Chris goes outside for a quick smoke but says to deal him in. We normally don't deal you in if you aren't sitting down, but it's his house, whaddya gonna do? He is out on the porch smoking like a fiend and still ###### and moaning about Paulie Nofold's suckout. After the cards are dealt and I fold it to him we yell at him to come back inside to check his cards. He says, "I don't need to see them, I raise it to 5". Uhh....ok, sure.

Strangely enough, Paulie Nofold calls, but then JoeThePro reraises and Bungholey Jack caps it. Once again, yell out to the porch, "6 to you, Chris". He yells back to call it. OK doke, whatever.

Flop comes 553 rainbow, Chris (still out smoking and steaming) says to bet it (still in the dark), Paulie Calls, JoeThePro raises, Bungholey Jack reraises. Chris has just come in, but still hasn't seen his cards and says, "Cap it, I don't even need cards to beat you dooshbags!" (I know that's not how you spell it, but that's how he says it.)

I grab another slice of pepperoni, I think this is gonna be a while.

They all call. Chris sits down and pushes his cards off to the side a little and says he will play the rest of the hand in the dark, and then reminds everyone that they are still dooshbags. In case they forgot, I guess. Turn is an 8, he bets. This time they all just call him.

River is a 4, he bets, but Paulie Nofold raises it. JoeThePro and Bungholey Jack call, Chris reraises (yes, still blind). Paulie caps it and they call. Board is 55384.

Paulie Nofold proudly turns over K4 for a pair of fours. He is beaming like a kid that just got his first glimpse of bare tittie. JoeThePro then turns over his AK and moans about how "slick never wins for me, no matter how well I play it". Bungholey Jack shows A9, whereupon JoeThePro goes apesh8t on him for calling that far with crap, he was a 3:1 dog, yadda yadda yadda.

Chris looks at the board and their cards and says, "I only need to beat a pair of fours? You guys are pathetic." He then flips his top card and it, of course, is a 5 for trip fives.

To say the rest of us went nuts would be a complete understatement. It was freakin bedlam, with Chris just insane with glee. I don't know if I've laughed that hard since the last time my first wife asked me if she looked fat. Just unbelieveable.

Awesome story!