looool... thanks for the words of support.. I really appreciate that.... although I didn't break anything that involves plastic or glass, I did punch a wall once.. and it still hurts..
***
I play basketball regularly every tuesday with same (well, almost same) teams every time, and today we had a great game that we won 130-126 .. I largely contributed to the victory and it makes me feel awesome.. I didn't think about poker for 1 second and was completely focused on the game and I must say that it helped a lot... I now feel tired and fresh at the same moment, and more than that, I feel GOOOOOD... also, when I came home I managed to get to the replay start (short version) of the Valencia-Chelsea game, and seeing Chelsea go through to the semi finals also makes me feel good since I am a Chelsea fan for as long as I am Dinamo Zagreb's fan... I think it has something to do with the blue color... lol... anyway, I feel great right now, and together with your words of assurance and support, I think that even though I didn't play yet, my bad run must be over because of all the positive emotions flowing right now....
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I just remembered what my friend once said... it's funny...... "I am the BEST..... I just haven't played yet..."

when the fuck will this stop....
I am 3 stacks down in a span of 10 minutes.. how?
my aces got cracked again...
I raise to .90 .. 2 guys call... flop is [Js][2d]. I bet pot, one guy calls, other folds. Turn is a and now I bet again and this guy pushes.. I call and he has [Ks]..
I have [Kc] in SB, folded to me, I raise strongly. BB calls. Flop is [blank][King][heart]. I bet pot he calls. turn is [heart]. I bet pot, he calls. River is [heart] and I bet all in and guy has [2h].. nice hand and reload
I have [Qh]... flop is [Qd][6h]. I raised PF strongly and got 1 caller... I bet full pot and guy calls. turn is a and I bet again full pot, and this guy goes all in.. I call and river is idiocy and this guy shows me [4s]..
There, I went beserk....
[7d] in BB and it has been raised, I admit .. flop is [7s][3d] and guy bets, other one calls and I raise strongly.. 1st guy pushes with [Ks] and gets on the river...
Also, [Kc]... King on flop... guy calls pot sized bets till the river gives him a gutshot straight where he nails me because I just couldn't believe he would do that. he then explains to me that doyle brunson would have played it like that and that he had implied odds... I say nihan and want to break something...
I am fucking MAD from this shit... in last 20 times (cca.) my aces were broken down like 10 times... and that can't be right...
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Also, I folded queens and kings twice because they were beat also...... I have tightened up considerably but still cant get away from all this crap...

****

I've just been looking at PT stats for today...
lost $2 with AA
lost $7.35 with AKs
lost $2.27 with AKo
lost $0.20 with AQs
lost $7.35 with AQo
lost $0.30 with AJs
lost $11.65 with AJo
won $7.80with 55
won $2.28 with K8s

***
that's about it.. i am officially tilting and being stupid and can't get off the hand vs. jerks..
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p.s. someone please tell me a site other then Party Poker... maybe I'll fare better there... and some bonus to go with it that is easy to clear since I play NL10

If you are getting players to call pot sized bets on gutshot draws and with small pocket pairs, I don't see why you want to move. More variance, but more winnings as well in the long run.

Hand 1 with AA, you overplayed it. That's a dry flop, very dry. Put him on a hand before you pot it on the flop. He calls a raise then calls on that board, so aside from 34 there aren't any draws. Two pair hands are pretty unlikely since you raised preflop, so that leaves one pair hands looking to spike two pair or a set. If you bet the single pairs are probably folding, particularly for full pot. You want them in. They don't have many outs against you, so good time to check behind. That display of weakness will likely induce a small bet or you can make a value bet yourself and get paid off by the single pair hands a good percentage of the time. Overpairs are good hands, particularly at 10NL, since people will overplay top pair, but you should exercise some caution rather than just potting it every street. In this hand, the K hits and you have to be aware that people will call raises with KJ, or even Kx suited.

Hand 2 you don't provide flop cards, so I don't know if there is a draw out there or not. If there is, I don't mind potting it flop and turn. River push depends on chips stacks, which you don't provide, but could be okay.

Hand 3, unlucky. Reload and make a note on that guy, cause he is gonna be your atm. Same for last hand.

Hand 4, fold preflop.

Don't tilt, it's a waste of money. Next session make your major focus not tilting. When you take a beat, concentrate on not tilting and move on to the next hand.

I actually know that it's my fault more than I present it here... I mean, it all starts when I lose 2 stacks on two tables in the space of 2 minutes where on one table guy gets a nicely masked gutshot on the river and on the other table guy hits 2 outer on turn after I have trips on flop... then.. I go bezerk and do all those other bad things.... I need to start exercising more control over myself because as geiststaat said: "it's a waiste of money" and I HAVE TO BE aware of that...
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I sat at NL25 and won $15 in 200 hands. I did it on purpose.. I wanted to be scared and not do stupid things... It worked, and I chilled down while picking up those $15.. I guess I was lucky in one hand where I had [Qh] and raised to $1.25 from MP after a limper, SB re-raised to $3.75 and I called. Flop was [6s][Qd] and SB immediately bets $4 into me... I just called here hoping for another bullet on turn but there he checked, so I checked too.. btw. it was another .. River was and SB checked again and I bet $5.. he folded.. Turn and river obviously didn't help him or me so I guess I got what I could from this hand.. I think that he would also fold to a flop raise given how he played the hand to the end...
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I am going back into NL10 ring to do some fighting...

I started recovering slowly yesterday and today... I think that short excurssion to NL25 put me in place... Now, back at NL10 I started raising more... My raises now include ALL pocket pairs even OOP (because there is almost no reraising PF in NL10),,, Other cards I raise as before.. If there are 2 rocks on my left then I almost always raise PF but occasionally let them keep the blinds so that they "know" I am not raising EVERYTHING because of them... I also raise and reraise with AK and AQ, KK, QQ if I think it will give me an advantage when flop comes and I am hoplessly limping AJ from all positions except OTB and CO...AA I raise all the time and reraise anywhere except OTB if I feel the raise to me was high enough..
The thing with pocket pairs is that if I miss the flop, I just fold, and depending on flop I can CB and take it down immediately... I also play and raise some of the SC.. Hopefully, this is good tactics for NL10
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I also realized that there is whole bunch of players at party that play only pocket pairs and AK AQ so it can be dangerous to get involved in a 3-way pot...
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So, any idea for a room with a nice bonus that clears at NL10 ?

like now for example.. I am going to eat something.. and then I am going to punch the living s*it out of something or someone (if I go outside)...
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Party Poker... Phuck you very much... and phuck me very much...
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Down $40 for the day... won 1 in 12 showdowns...
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I read old posts here at BTP and saw that KK vs. AA is 1 in 20 chance on FR .. or 5% or 2% .. different thigs were said about that...
Anyway,
1.
I got [Ks] raised PF, got reraised by a guy that (again) just sat down at the table so I have absolutely no read on him.. I call.. Flop is small... I check.. He bets, I raise, he pushes, I call.. He has [Ah]..

2.
[Kh] in SB... folded to Button who calls, I raise to .50. BB folds and button calls... flop [8c][Ks]. I bet $.90. Button calls. Turn . I bet $2.50, button calls.. River . I go all in for $6 and he calls to show me 2 pairs .. [9d]... I know that I shouldn't have gone all in, but I thought he is an idiot... well.. I am an idiot here..

3.
BB with [6d]. MP raises to .40 and I call and UTG calls. flop [Td][8c]. I check, UTG checks, MP bets $.80, I raise to $2 and UTG reminiraises to $4. MP folds and I push. UTG calls and has [Th] for a higher set... Should have realized that something is wrong when he check raised both me and MP...

4.
I am CO with [9d]. Folded to me and I raise to .40. Monkey in SB and CS in BB call.. Flop is [Th][8d]. SB checks, BB bets .50. I raise to $2. SB folds, BB calls. Turn . BB checks, I bet $3. He calls. River . BB bets his last .02 cents and I call.. He has [5s]... I guess I could have folded this PF but I was in front for the whole time... definitely should have folded to his .02 bet... now I have even less in % showdowns won.

5.
Again, I have [Ks] in LP ... 2 limpers, I raise to .50, folded, 2nd limper reraises to .90. I reraise to $2, and he calls. Flop is [Ac][2h]. Damn... He bets $2.35 and I push... He calls and has ................. [Jh] ... with another completing the river just for fun..

6.
AGAIN! ... [Kd]. This time ON THE BUTTON.. 2 limpers, I raise to .50... 1st limper calls... Flop is dangerous [8h][7d]. He checks, I bet $.90, he raises double to $1.80 and I call since I am on tilt now already I guess.. Turn is and he bets $2, I call.. River is and he checks and I check behind.. .he has [7c]...

7.
[Kd] ... on BB ... Folded to the button who calls. SB folds, I raise to .50. Button calls... Flop [3d][4h] .. I bet .90, he calls.. Turn . I check, and he bets $2 for his all in... I call and river is . He shows me [4d]..

Basically
KK . -$18 - 0/3
AKs -$11.75 - 1/3
KJo -$9.95 - 6/11 .. i didn't write this hand but I had 2 pair and he had set of sevens...

I did manage to win 3 times with [Ad]... out of 3 .. which is nice I guess...

My showdown percentage for today is... W$SD 30% and WtSD is 18%
VPiP is 16% and PF raise is 10% ...

So once again, phuck you party and phuck me for being stupid and easy tilting.. if I was tilting at all...

My biggest breakthrough in winning poker was realizing (to self) ... "Simplify all of this." Kind of the antithesis to FPS.