This Flop(house) is Crowded

[black_knight6]

...what MVP said...I've been living with my (now fiancee) for 8 months...run...and...hide!

[iceman5]

Where are you going to put your stuff when she takes the entire closet?

Ok, youre not combining funds, which is good for now. Just remember this. If you co-mingle your lives, for example: filing taxes jointly , buying a car jointly or other things like this or if you introduce her as your wife while living together (at parties or whatever)...then you are legally married in the State of Texas.

Most people refer to it as common law married, but it WILL stand up in court if something bad happened and you guys broke up. You would be responsible for her debts (credit cards), she could block you from getting married to someone else unless you get a divorce.....It would be just like you were married if one of you ever pushed it.

Of course most people dont know this and they are common law married...break up..and go about their lives without it ever becomming an issue if neither party makes it one.

[T-Rod]

[striker2550]

Hope u like a pink bedroom. Walls, curtains, bed clothes etc.
Hope u like a pink kitchen. Curtains, towells etc.
Hope u like NEVER having quiet time to yourself.
Hope u like watching what she likes on tv.
Hope u like playing russian roulette every time u walk thru the door. Mood swings.
Hope u like having 59 items of hair and body care in your shower.
Hope u like the parking space farthest away from the door.
Hope u like "honeydo" lists.
Hope u like helping with housework even more now than before.
Hope u like taking all your stuff u like to display and putting it in boxes in storage.
Hope u like all the new pictures she hangs instead of the ones u used to like.
Hope u like doing things NOW instead of when u get good and ready.
Hope u like her family, too. ALL of them.
Hope u like getting the "cold shoulder" everytime a pretty girl walks by and u dont puke.
Hope u like 1/2 the bed u are used to using.
Hope u like being at LEAST 20 minutes late everywhere u go.
Hope u like changing your clothes everytime they are deemed "not good enough".
Hope u like hiding things you buy because "she who must be obeyed" wouldnt approve.
Hope u like eating "healthy" just so u dont have to hear her nagging.
....ETC

The 3 stages of sex between a married/live in couple.
First 2 yrs is house sex. Thats when u have sex all over the house.
Second 2 yrs. is bedroom sex. Thats when u have sex just in the bedroom.
Forever after is hallway sex. Thats when u pass each other in the hall and say "f-u"

But there are some really good parts.

[Kuso]

all women are different (and it sounds like you've got a cool one), but the following seems to be some common themes that i've experienced and/or heard about. ymmv.

- clear out A LOT of bathroom and vanity (around the sink) space for her if she hasn't already claimed her area(s).

- ditto with closet space -- really.

- don't know the lady, but some guys have to explain downtime to women. lots of women can't sit down until the house is spotless, and they expect the guy to help.

- related to the above... what you will and won't do on a regular basis should be clearly defined. of course there will be exceptions, but there needs to be a line.

- do whatever it takes to keep the romance and sex life active. you'll have to figure out what works for you. just because you can bonk any time you want doesn't mean you should take this fact for granted (many men seem to). ditto with romance and dates -- just because you see her all the time doesn't mean that she doesn't want flowers, a romantic dinner, etc.

- if your place is big enough, try to make "spaces" for both of you. the ideal thing is something like an office or study, but it can be something as small as a desk in a room. ok... reality check... make a space for yourself and make it clear that it's "yours", because the rest of the house is pretty much going to be hers. if you have a basement or downstairs den, make it the "men's" room. most successful marriages i've known have some kind of arrangement like this.

- related to the above... expect lots of things to change (e.g., arrangement of things, interior decorating, etc.). let her do it, and maybe budget some money for it.

- hide the midget porn

- if you have any stuff relating to exes stored in the house, find a different place for it. even if she's "cool" with it, she doesn't want to see that shit.

- not sure if you're TV people, but get multilpe TVs and/or a Tivo.

- not sharing money is big -- that can potentially be a big headache unless you have an abundance of it.

- even if you don't share accounts, you probably need to share expenses somehow. defining this early would be good.

- not sure what your refrigerator is like, but you may want to get a mini-fridge or even regular fridge for guy stuff (esp. if you have lots of guy friends over).

- not sure if you go out with the guys a lot or invite them over (for innocent fun), but some women have a hard time understanding this. they want to be involved in EVERYTHING, and don't want their men having fun without them. personally, this one drives me nuts. a guy gets serious with a woman, and then he can't hang out with his buddies any more. i've seen this happen TOO many times to some of my friends. don't be one of these guys. to be fair, there is a happy medium (e.g., a movement towards more "couple" types of things), but that shouldn't ruin your brotherhood. this really may not be an issue if she's 35 and mature and reasonable about these things (wouldn't surprise me if she is).

- you might want to get a pair of headphones (preferably wireless) if you don't always go to bed at the same time and/or have different tastes in music (i play music almost all the time, but my wife and i have similar tastes).

- have a plan for a safe haven to go to when she's PMSing and goes ballistic (really). it can be a friends house, a coffee shop, a bookstore, whatever. apologies if this seems sexist, but i have found that this is the easiest way to deal with it. arguing or trying to rationalize the situaiton are exercises in futility. i've actually told my wife this is what i do. it sends a VERY strong message that i'm not going to argue, i'm not abandoning her, but i'm not going to interact with her until she can be more reasonable. i only had to use it once.

[edited for spelling]

[Kuso]

[Kuso]

[iceman5]

[Kuso]

[MVPSPORTS]

Hey Kooooooooooooz... are you married to some hot asian Lily Thaiish chick?

[Kuso]

hot asian (korean), yes.

lily thaiish, no (thank god).

to be honest, chicks with lily thai body shapes tend not to be naturally good in bed (sorry to spoil your fantasy). i'm sure she's a good performer, but i'm looking for more than that.

[MVPSPORTS]

[MVPSPORTS]

[Kuso]

[NorthView]

Buried deep between the sweaty thighs of some hot Thai girl I've never heaard of, there's a lot of solid advice in this thread.

My missus and I moved in together only 18 months ago, and we still haven't established all the ground rules. Think of the home as a battleground where a truce is eventually reached. Be ready and willing to compromise, but don't EVER give in to the fascism that lies deep in the soul of most women: "you vill do it my vay, because I know vat is best."