Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put mascara on with their mouths closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it the doctors call what they do a "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injection?
You know that indescructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
If con is the opposite of pro. the is Congress the opposite of progress?
Ever Wonder?
Moderators: TightWad, LPF Police Department
11 posts
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Ever Wonder?
by TexasKowboy » Fri Apr 20, 2007 9:58 pm
Kowboy
If I ain't sinkin', well I must be swimin' If I ain't dead, I must be livin' Livin' is the thing, that scares me the most And if I ain't sleepin', well I better be fishin' If I ain't anchored I will be driftin' But all and all, I'm doing pretty good, since I hit my third coast!
If I ain't sinkin', well I must be swimin' If I ain't dead, I must be livin' Livin' is the thing, that scares me the most And if I ain't sleepin', well I better be fishin' If I ain't anchored I will be driftin' But all and all, I'm doing pretty good, since I hit my third coast!
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TexasKowboy - BTP Benefactor & Egg Champion 2005
- Posts: 1106
- Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2004 12:36 pm
- Location: Padre Island, Texas
by TexasKowboy » Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:00 pm
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called "Poles", why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig looses it's voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing nightgowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man that invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person that plays the piano called a pianist but a person that drives a racecar not called a racist?
Why are wise man and wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't eleven pronounced onety-one?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them. But if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUp?
Do Lipton tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mail man can look for them while he delivered the mail?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
No one ever says "its only a game," when their team is winning.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
What happened to preparations A through G?
Id olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If people from Poland are called "Poles", why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig looses it's voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing nightgowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man that invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person that plays the piano called a pianist but a person that drives a racecar not called a racist?
Why are wise man and wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't eleven pronounced onety-one?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them. But if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUp?
Do Lipton tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mail man can look for them while he delivered the mail?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
No one ever says "its only a game," when their team is winning.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
What happened to preparations A through G?
Id olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Kowboy
If I ain't sinkin', well I must be swimin' If I ain't dead, I must be livin' Livin' is the thing, that scares me the most And if I ain't sleepin', well I better be fishin' If I ain't anchored I will be driftin' But all and all, I'm doing pretty good, since I hit my third coast!
If I ain't sinkin', well I must be swimin' If I ain't dead, I must be livin' Livin' is the thing, that scares me the most And if I ain't sleepin', well I better be fishin' If I ain't anchored I will be driftin' But all and all, I'm doing pretty good, since I hit my third coast!
-
TexasKowboy - BTP Benefactor & Egg Champion 2005
- Posts: 1106
- Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2004 12:36 pm
- Location: Padre Island, Texas
by TexasKowboy » Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:01 pm
My bad double post
Kowboy
If I ain't sinkin', well I must be swimin' If I ain't dead, I must be livin' Livin' is the thing, that scares me the most And if I ain't sleepin', well I better be fishin' If I ain't anchored I will be driftin' But all and all, I'm doing pretty good, since I hit my third coast!
If I ain't sinkin', well I must be swimin' If I ain't dead, I must be livin' Livin' is the thing, that scares me the most And if I ain't sleepin', well I better be fishin' If I ain't anchored I will be driftin' But all and all, I'm doing pretty good, since I hit my third coast!
-
TexasKowboy - BTP Benefactor & Egg Champion 2005
- Posts: 1106
- Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2004 12:36 pm
- Location: Padre Island, Texas
by Twelver » Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:06 pm
your not very good at this posting thing are you?
Mekos King (10:21:59 PM): one of the first rules of manlaw
Mekos King (10:22:06 PM): is never ever try to suck backup to a bitch
Mekos King (10:22:09 PM): who caught u cheatin
Mekos King (10:22:23 PM): unless your married and would lose like money inna divorce
Mekos King (10:22:33 PM): then u suckup just long enuf to get close enough to killer obv
Heat517163 (5:05:37 PM): black people man
Heat517163 (5:05:40 PM): they travel in packs
Mekos King (10:22:06 PM): is never ever try to suck backup to a bitch
Mekos King (10:22:09 PM): who caught u cheatin
Mekos King (10:22:23 PM): unless your married and would lose like money inna divorce
Mekos King (10:22:33 PM): then u suckup just long enuf to get close enough to killer obv
Heat517163 (5:05:37 PM): black people man
Heat517163 (5:05:40 PM): they travel in packs
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Twelver - Posts: 3830
- Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2005 10:03 am
- Location: Atlanta
by EscapePlan9 » Sat Apr 21, 2007 4:48 am
Why do they call it oval-tine? It should be called round-tine!
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EscapePlan9 - Professional Donk-n-Go'r
- Posts: 4305
- Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 2:22 pm
- Location: Rochester, NY
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Johnny Hughes - Posts: 1034
- Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 12:17 pm
by Felonius_Monk » Mon Apr 23, 2007 1:52 am
The Monkman J[c]
"Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down." - Snow, 1993
"Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down." - Snow, 1993
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Felonius_Monk - Semi Pro (B&M & Online)
- Posts: 7243
- Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 10:40 am
- Location: Yorkshire, UK
by EscapePlan9 » Mon Apr 23, 2007 2:51 am
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EscapePlan9 - Professional Donk-n-Go'r
- Posts: 4305
- Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 2:22 pm
- Location: Rochester, NY
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