ATTENTION ENGLISHMEN: Help with this Scene

[Johnny Hughes]

Below are a few paragraphs from my upcoming novel, TEXAS POKER WISDOM. I have a small part for an English character. What do you English guys think of the dialog and/or scene???

A friend that Matt called the Roving Englishman walked up. He began speaking to Matt. "Hello, Mate. The poker is pretty flat at the Plaza. Not so much money on the table at present. It was just huge there about three this morning. The Nugget has a long waiting list but they won't open another no-limit game. Binion's game is going swimmingly. It is about half tough players."

Matt thanked him but did not introduce Dylan. Matt exchanged information about the current poker conditions with several friends around Glitter Gulch. Matt nicknamed everyone he met in Las Vegas by the town or state or country they came from. English, Florida, Riverside, Lazbuddie. It was easier to remember. No one seemed to mind. Matt thought they liked it.
.........................................................................................................................................
Then, in a later scene:


When Matt arrived back at the poker table, the big blind was two seats away, so he waited. His friend, the Roving Englishman, had joined the game. Dylan's intoxicating rush was continuing. He bet every bob-tailed straight and flush draw and usually won the pot right there. He loved poker when the cards were acting sensible but this was sheer joy. Dylan's mountain of chips and series of hands confirmed his incredibly high opinion of himself and his expert poker abilities. Dylan had his chips stacked in tall irregular stacks, the spoils of war. This made it difficult for Matt to calculate how much they were winning. Dylan knew that. Matt kept looking at his stack.

The Englishman limped into the pot for $10 after a long study. Dylan raised $60 from the button which he did most of the time. Dylan held the ace-king of hearts but he would have raised with almost anything. Everyone else folded around to the Englishman who rapidly shoved all his chips out there.

"I am raising all in." He said, covering his mouth with his hand.

"How much is it?" Dylan asked him. Matt and the Englishman had once made the religious trek to Walgreens Drug Store for ear plugs. The Englishman stared at Dylan but didn't hear the question with his ear plugs firmly in place. Dylan was trying to get a read on the Englishman whose thick glasses made his eyes look oversized. Dylan thought wrongly that he detected fear.

The dealer counted the money and said the raise was $420. The only two hands Dylan feared were a pair of aces or kings. He didn't think the Englishman would bet over four times the pot with aces. It seemed he would want action. Dylan began to think the raise meant a small pair. Matt was staring hard at Dylan. Finally, Dylan looked up and caught Matt's eye. Matt shook his head no with only the slightest movement. Dylan saw him.

"Why would you bet so much at a dry pot?" Dylan often tried to engage his opponent in conversation hoping to induce a tell. The Englishman didn't hear him but smiled broadly and checked his hole cards again. It wasn't as if he'd forget or even needed to make sure. Dylan called, not because of the situation since he only had $70 in the pot, but to play his rush. To push his luck to the outer limits now that there was so much luck around seemed a reason.

The four Las Vegas regulars and Matt all laughed since they knew the Englishman had aces most likely. The Englishman pulled out his ear plugs. Matt cried out in his most mocking voice, "Now you have sent him packing for the Plaza. He'll double up and jump up." Matt reached under the table and pulled up two of the empty plastic chip racks which he handed to the Englishman. Dylan showed his ace-king. The Englishman showed the anticipated, unsurprising, and always beautiful two aces. He won the pot easily. "A red one and a black one." Matt said.

English began to rack the chips as the dealer shoved them over. He was a hit and go artist who left the game as soon as he won a large pot. He'd go play at the Plaza or the Golden Nugget and start again with $400. It was a walker's way of rat-holing. Money management. "Deal around me, Mate. I have a rendezvous with destiny not three blocks from here." He said.

"Tell 'em where you got it." Matt said, as he always did. "Tell 'em how you got it too."

So....what do you think???

[excession]

All fine except for use of 'swimmingly' - pretty old-style language usage limited to upper middle class folks 60+ from near London.

'Fine', 'Well' or 'Great' would all work..

[Molina]

I agree with Ex about swimmingly.

Depending on the social class of the Brit, I'd be inclined to change "Hello mate" to 'Alright mate' but that's just me.

[Johnny Hughes]

Swimmingly is history.

[Irexes]

[Irexes]

[Felonius_Monk]

[Johnny Hughes]

[Johnny Hughes]

[NorthView]

[Felonius_Monk]